


Me and Romeo have never been friends

by SquaresAreNotCircles



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: First Kiss, Humor, M/M, Oblivious Steve McGarrett, Steve McGarrett Is Bad At Flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 15:47:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21640645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SquaresAreNotCircles/pseuds/SquaresAreNotCircles
Summary: Steve is good at flirting. That’s what he’s always thought, anyway. He smiles at women, they smile back, and he’s earned himself the nickname Smooth Dog. Nothing to it; easy as pie.And then Danny comes striding into his life, all natural, lingering touch and “hey babe” and annoyed grumbling to the entire team about the cut of Steve’s jawline, and suddenly Steve isn’t so sure of his own abilities anymore, because this, surelythisis real flirting.Or: One Tuesday morning, things come to a head.
Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 26
Kudos: 484





	Me and Romeo have never been friends

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Мы с Ромео никогда не дружили](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25363495) by [fandom Hawaii Five-0 2020 (fandom_HawaiiFive0_2018)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandom_HawaiiFive0_2018/pseuds/fandom%20Hawaii%20Five-0%202020), [Urtica](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Urtica/pseuds/Urtica)



> Another prompt from Tumblr! I’m not getting through them very quickly, but we are moving. :D 
> 
> This is a fill for [saratour](https://saratour.tumblr.com/), and I’ll put the original prompt in the end notes. The title is from Casanova, a song originally by LeVert that has also been covered very successfully by Ultimate Kaos.

Steve is good at flirting. That’s what he’s always thought, anyway. He smiles at women, they smile back, and he’s earned himself the nickname Smooth Dog. Nothing to it; easy as pie.

And then Danny comes striding into his life, all natural, lingering touch and “hey babe” and annoyed grumbling to the entire team about the cut of Steve’s jawline, and suddenly Steve isn’t so sure of his own abilities anymore, because this, surely _this_ is real flirting.

But then Danny never makes a move. Steve watches from the sidelines and leaves the flirting to the expert, which should, by all sane measurements, be the guy who keeps finding new ways to tell Steve how good he looks in a suit, and then… nothing. There are looks and comments and touches and it starts up this thrum of anticipation and sets the scene for something more, but there’s never any follow-through. Danny doesn’t ask him out and never goes in for a kiss or tries to sneak into Steve’s bed when he stays over, even though Steve thinks he’s made it pretty clear he’s definitely not unreceptive to any of it. He has, you know, smiled at Danny, and stuff. He’s left his bedroom door wide open. He keeps stealing Danny’s car and insulting New Jersey, for God’s sake. Could it get any more obvious than that?

Eventually, Steve is forced to conclude that either this is just how Danny is when he has a really close best friend, or there was some intention behind it at the start and Danny changed his mind somewhere along the way. Both are totally fine and not a problem whatsoever and, above all, not the slightest bit disappointing. Steve is cool with this. It’s totally fine.

And then there’s this one morning, and it’s entirely unremarkable except for how the world is conspiring against Steve right from the moment he tries to silence his alarm clock and instead topples the glass of water on his night stand and drowns his phone. There is a hole in his sock, the zipper on his pants won’t zip, his coffeemaker is broken and he burns first himself and then his food while trying to make breakfast. That was the last of his oatmeal, so he ends up having to live off of the power bars he bought in bulk a few months ago but never eats because they have a sickly sweet, artificial strawberry flavor. 

Long story short: by the time Danny arrives, everything Steve has tried to do has gone absolutely swimmingly, if this metaphor had him swimming in the middle of the ocean surrounded by sharks and without a lifejacket.

So when he opens the door to Danny’s ring (and knock, because Steve stumbled over absolutely nothing on his way to the door and it took him too long), he’s not feeling too patient. In a surprising twist, Danny seems to have no problem with just that while he moves his eyes down and up again over Steve’s body. No doubt Steve has toothpaste stains all over his shirt and his fresh pair of pants with working zipper, but he can’t think about that, because it’s just that tiny step too far. This entire morning has been a ticking time bomb and something is bound to explode sooner rather than later. 

Apparently, that something is his common sense. He takes his burnt finger from his mouth and out comes, without his permission and with practically zero provocation, “What, are you flirting with me?”

“Steven,” Danny says, and it sounds so aggrieved that for a horrible second, Steve has to consider the possibility that he got it all wrong and he offended Danny with the question. Then Danny pushes his way inside, pulls the door closed and punches Steve’s shoulder. “What’s that face? Stop it with that. Oh my God, you idiot, the answer is yes. Nice of you to finally notice at eight AM on a random Tuesday.”

Steve waits a second for the roof to cave in on them, because that seems like the kind of thing that should happen right about now. “Yes?”

“Do you want me to spell it out for you?” Danny asks, not even the slightest bit sympathetic to Steve’s plight. “Y-E-”

Steve does not want him to spell it out. Or rather, he’s pretty ambivalent about spelling, but there are things he more desperately wants Danny’s mouth to do. He licks his teeth to doublecheck he brushed them – he did, which makes him even more sure he has toothpaste stains on his shirt – and doesn’t waste another second before he moves on Danny. 

It is, charitably speaking, kind of a disaster. Danny evidently does not expect him to be swooping in right that second, his approach is so head-on that he smashes their noses together, and when his lips do collide with skin, it’s very much the corner of Danny’s mouth, and not in a seductive, sexy way. The entire time his hands are just kind of flail-y and noticeably present in places where they shouldn’t be, like they keep getting lost.

When Steve pulls back, he’s kind of surprised nobody is bleeding. He licks his teeth again, but this time because they hurt from when he knocked them into Danny’s.

Danny has a hand over his mouth, nurturing his own battle wounds, and over it he’s staring at Steve with a mixture of fury and incredulity. “You are so completely terrible at every part of this,” he marvels. “Why do I even like you?”

“Am not,” Steve says, insulted. He would have said more, but then Danny grabs his face to hold it still and tilts his own head and leans in and up, and suddenly they’re kissing all over again and it’s _good_. It actually _works_. Danny is a genius and people should be writing epic poems about his courage in the face of adversity, and Steve will get right on that, as soon as his brain reboots.

Eventually though, even the brightest of bright moments ends. When it does, Danny moves his hands from Steve’s face to Steve’s shoulders and forcibly keeps him close. Steve does not need to be told twice. 

“You wanna know what I think?” Danny asks, pretty much speaking to Steve’s collarbone. Looking down at Danny now, it’s almost a miracle their kiss actually hit its mark on the second attempt, because the height difference is significant. “I think you’re too handsome for your own good.”

Steve sneaks his arms around Danny’s back. He’s under no illusion that he goes unnoticed, but he does go unchallenged, which is much better. “You can stop now. The flirting has worked.”

Danny rolls his eyes. “Okay, A, I’m not gonna stop, and B, that wasn’t flirting. I’m calling you flirtily impaired. Your own handsomeness kept you from ever having to learn anything. I bet you’re terrible in bed.”

That’s a whole series of sentences Steve will need to respond to at some point, but that last one is definitely a KO punch. He gapes for two seconds – how did he ever get the impression that Danny is actually good at smooth-talking people? – and then recovers enough to give the matter exactly zero thought before he says, “I’ll take that bet.” 

Danny grins suddenly, cat who got the cream and might also be a wolf in sheep’s clothes, and pops the top button of Steve’s shirt. “Good. I’m looking forward to it.”

“You said that on purpose,” Steve realizes, abruptly and out loud. “You-” He struggles to find an appropriate word – one that’s not too accusatory, because he doesn’t actually feel bad about being tricked, but that still conveys the heart of the matter. “You bamboozled me.”

Danny pauses at the third button of Steve’s shirt to shoot him an unimpressed deadpan look. “Really, babe, how has anyone ever slept with you?”

It’s eight in the morning and it’s far too early to be talking about sleep, let alone how early in their changed relationship it is to be talking about sleeping with Danny, but Steve feels a tiny little bit invincible. This morning has tried to kick him down and he’s soaring anyway – might as well go for broke, on this day that clearly tried to tell him right from the start the he should just go back to bed. “Why are you about to sleep with me?”

The gamble pays off. Danny doesn’t even yell at him, which is rare even when Steve doesn’t say something presumptuous. “That’s a _good_ question. I must be desperate.”

“Sure,” Steve says. He pushes Danny’s hands away and finishes off the last few buttons, which leaves his shirt hanging open and Danny staring at his chest. He grins. “Or you were completely won over by my many charms.”

Danny sighs deeply. “Well, guess there’s no accounting for taste.”

“True enough,” Steve agrees. “Apparently, I like assholes.”

“So we both make bad choices.” Danny pushes the shirt from Steve’s shoulders. It drops to the floor, out of sight, out of mind. “I think that just means we fit.”

To put that theory to the test, Steve crowds in closer and kisses Danny again. No noses bump this time, his hands seem made to curl around Danny’s hips and their mouths slot together easily. Danny fits in his arms like Danny fits in Hawaii – with some stops and starts and very vocal complaints, but in the end, effortlessly. Like he was always meant to find a home there.

“You’re thinking sappy things,” Danny says. “Aren’t you? I can feel it. You’re really-”

Steve kisses him again. No need to waste a good moment.

**Author's Note:**

> The original prompt from [saratour](https://saratour.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr: “How about: Steve - Are you flirting with me? Danny - Oh you finally noticed? Hope it's a good distraction :)” It was! Thank you!
> 
> -
> 
> And thank _you_ , person absorbing these words, for presumably reading all of the words that came before! Comments are tiny little rainbow droplets of joy.
> 
> I’m on Tumblr as [itwoodbeprefect](https://itwoodbeprefect.tumblr.com), or with my exclusively H50 (and mostly McDanno) sideblog as [five-wow](https://five-wow.tumblr.com).


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